time

they say how would i describe you.

i say you are the fire by my side in a merciless jungle, keeping me safe for the terrors of the night

the hearth of the home i long for, giving me hope and reassuring me that i belong

thespacetomysentences, without meaning in your absence

you are spine of my favorite book, keeping me intact amidst all confusion

the aglet of my shoe laces, holding me together and not break apart

and the smooth brim of my cup, the smallest detail that when gone renders me useless

you are my strength





and you are my weakness

five seven five.

i want to know if

she loves me or not, but then

do i want to know?


cause


"i don't need to count

a flower's petals to know

that you don't love me"

fancy

when can it be called a date?
is it when it is planned?
or when the boy gets to pay?
is it when we are considered lovers?
or maybe when we both give it our consent?

how can it be called a date?
it was not planned.
i did not pay for it.
nor we are lovers.
but we both gave it our consent.

i hope this will not be our first and last not date

jigsaw

i'm falling for you

and starting to lose this battle

august

Let us lie to each other. Let us pretend to be lovers, pretend that you would love me back the way I love you.

It won't be easy, you said. It would take some time for you to know me, to memorize how my laugh sounds like, or how my eyes twitch whenever I smile. Knowing when I'm happy or sad or to feel incomplete whenever I'm not around. You said it would be hard for you to feel how my mere presence would brighten up your day and my tears be the end of yours.

You thought about it and laughed about the thought of loving my best and my worst, getting used to and accepting my flaws. You would learn to love how hard I laugh, or the weird way I talk. How wordy or insensitive I sometimes can be. Or how to love me on my ups and downs.

Lastly you said, it would take you sometime to think of the answers to the questions; why do you love me or how much I mean to you? You told me all these when we were talking about lying about loving each other.

But to me, how can I lie about loving you?

unawa

Gusto kong magwala. Gusto ko ngunit di ko magawa. Di ko magawa dahil alam kong wala ako sa lugar. Wala akong karapatang maramdaman to ngunit di ibig sabihin nun na di ko na siya mararamdaman. Di ko lang masabi sayo ng harapan. Di ko lang mahanap ang tamang salita at paraan kung paano sabihin sayo. Di ko mahanap yung tamang panahon na ipasok to sa usapan. Sana malapit na yung panahon na iyon.

Gusto kong sabihin sayong ako ay iyo. Ako ay iyo. Gusto ko rin marinig yun galing sayo. Pero alam kong malabo. Malabo kasi wala akong kwenta para sayo. Kasi kaibigan mo lang ako. Kasi di naman parehas ang pagtingin natin sa isa't-isa. Malabo kasi wala akong deretsong sagot. Kasi wala akong lakas ng loob na malaman. Wala akong lakas ng loob na tanungin ka kung ganun din ba ako sayo.

Gusto kong sumuko. Ngunit susuko na ba ako dahil sinasaktan ko ang sarili ko dahil di ko kayang simulan ang dapat kong simulan? O marahil alam kong nagsasayang lang ako ng oras. Di ka pwedeng sumuko sa isang bagay na di mo pa sinisumulan ngunit bakit dito kahit di ko pa sinisimulan ay pagod na ako. Pagod na sa lahat.

Magagalit ba ako? Sasabihin ko ba sayo? O basta-basta na lang akong susuko? 

telephone booth.

I want to write about you, but I don't know where to start. 

Should I write about how important you've become to me, or how hard it is that you've become important to me? Or about how I want to want you but should not want you? To write about how you smile, how your hair fall when you put your head against my shoulders, how you subtly hold my hand when I try bring you closer, how you push me away while drawing me strongly, or how hard it is to be with you when I know I can't be.

I want to, but something tells me that writing about you would be the death of me.

complain

Say something, I'm giving up on you